Below are some thoughts from recent victims (targets) of bigamists. Bigamy is an overlooked crime and unless its victims expose these bigamists for what they are, little will ever be done about it. Please note there is no centralized database for jurisdictions to check to see whether or not a person is being truthful on their application. The sentences and fines for bigamy are less than for a DUI. If a National Marriage Database were in place, this would not be a problem. I urge you to sign the petition urging Congress to institute such a database.
After my wife committed bigamy, my
thoughts on marriage is very vague and clouded with pain and agony.
There is a difference between loving and liking someone. I love her for giving birth to my children I dislike the things that she has done to me, both families involved, and most importantly the kids.
I am a veteran, but she didn't marry the other guy till I went to Maryland for a business opportunity. I understand that it takes two in every marriage, but I did what was best. I am not looking for sympathy but understanding and maybe a hug or two! As a man, I will do what is right for my children. A marriage will change you and force you to grow up!
I have come along way, learned a lot, and I am not here to bash Margo in anyway. I am hopeful she'll get the therapy she needs and hopefully the justice system will not look the other way. I hope justice will prevail. We all make mistakes and we need to learn from them so we can grow and hopefully not repeat them. - Joseph Couden-Case victim of Margo Jolly
I am a victim of a bigamist husband. We were married in a church ceremony on February 15, 2002. After three years of marriage, I found out that my husband had a completely secret life, he was still married to his first wife of nine years and still had an active role in her and their child's life. To top off this, I found out that he was aware that he had full-blown AIDS at the time he married me and tried to infect me without my knowledge or consent. Thank God he was unsuccessful in infecting me but unfortunately was successful in infecting his other wife that lead to her "suspicious suicide" six days after I filed a $1 million dollar lawsuit against him for fraud, criminal transmission of HIV, and infliction of extreme emotional distress. It is my belief that he had something to do with her death to prevent her from testifying in court and to cover his criminal tracks. As of today, he is now preying on victim number three, and from what information I have found out about this man, there could be others victims. I am tired of these bigamists criminals not being held accountable for their actions, our judicial system not taking this crime seriously, and I am dedicating my life to changing the laws and how they are applied. This is not a joke! This is a serious crime that needs to be punished. I believe it should not be treated any differently than child molesters and rapists. It causes the same emotional devastation in the bigamy victim's life. The laws are old and badly written and need to be rewritten and taken seriously, this crime should be a federal crime as most of these bigamists commit this crime in multiple states. Sandra, I commend you for your efforts and stand by you 100% in the fight to Stop Bigamy! Lets work together and send these lying, con artist, criminals where they belong...behind bars! - Patricia Powell-Tompkins victim of Swen O. Tompkins
I was married to a bigamist in the UK. I started my website stopbigamy.co.uk. I just want to share with all other victims that it is possible to rebuild your life and become happy again. It has been a long hard road, but in general I am the happiest I have been for a long time. I have been traveling and enjoying things in life that I never used to because I was too busy being a wife to a bigamist. Hang in there all of you and it will happen. - Julia Johns, victim of Bob Rendell
There is no way anyone can imagine the pain and devastation left behind in the path of a bigamist. The potential for damage is overwhelming. Overnight, many lives are turned inside out when it has been revealed that the person that you gave your love and your complete trust to has betrayed you. The emotional and financial scars are deep. Imagine finding your wife's review of a Las Vegas wedding chapel. A review that she wrote about her wedding to another man, while she was still married to you. "The saving "Grace" about Graceland would be the minister. He didn't do a quickie Vegas wedding. He walked us through everything, individually. Was respectful of our wishes and simply WONDERFUL. That was the highlight of the chapel. The only classy part of this chapel was the wonderful minister. Good parts--you can purchase things separately, can bring your own camera, use your own flowers, and bring your own music. Down sides. The chapel has changed hands in the last few months--if I would have known that I wouldn't have used it. They were disorganized. Forgot I prepaid. Talked during my wedding service. Forgot to have my unity candle set up that I also prepaid for. We saw Elvis--what a joke!! Save your money. Even the children attending my wedding laughed at him. As Chapels go, it was ok, cute from the outside, and inside, but lacks basic organziation and some basic manners. The minister saved the day and made it far more than a "Vegas" wedding. Thanks trip advisor for all the reviews and help." - Randy Bish victim of Julia Bish
Some well meaning friends and a couple of family members tell me I must move forward because it is all over now, and that I am better off. Of course I will move forward; I am so much better off. I will gain strength, become a stronger and much wiser person from this devastating experience, but it will never be over. It will be with me for the remainder of my days on Earth. I will forever be changed by this most ultimate and intimate of betrayals. These bigamists con men psychopaths (sociopaths) wreak havoc in the lives of their victims, not only financially but emotionally as well. They have no conscience, no remorse, and no guilt over what they have done to those who loved them with their heart and soul. They throw us away like an old pair of shoes, and like the predators they are, they quickly move on to their next victim. The magnitude of the lies cannot be imagined by anyone unless you have lived this nightmare. When I met Ed HIcks, he told me there had never been another woman in his children's lives other than the mother of his children, Johnette Hicks. All the while, he had a wife at home, Julie. I learned that less than two weeks after I married Ed Hicks, he was already meeting another woman in Richmond, VA. It happened to be on the same day that I went to the DMV to have my driver's license changed to my new married name. Ed HIcks had a girlfriend in California while were were married too and he wrote her telling her that the reason he had not been writing her as much lately was because he had a friend dying of cancer. That friend was my dear father. He used my father's dying, like he used Julie's father's death (see below) to lie to his girlfriend. Unless you have walked in our shoes, you cannot possibly know the pain, the betrayal, and the life-long hurt that victims of bigamy feel. - Sandra Phipps-Hicks victim of Ed Hicks
I didn't know about Rose (confirmed wife #5) until after all of this came out with Sandra's case. Ed told me Johnette Erlandson Hicks (confirmed Wife #4) was the only person he'd been married to. All these other marriages didn't exist. On September 11, 2001, Ed Hicks told me he had to go to the Pentagon on business. Instead, he was with Sandra at her home, working on her computer, probably writing yet another girlfriend who lived six hours away. Of course, Sandra thought he had been divorced for years. But I thought and his children thought that he might be dead on that horrible day. Seven months after Ed Hicks asked me to go back to my family in Utah and that we might be able to work out our marriage, my father died. He told Sandra his children's grandpa had passed away in Utah and he needed to go to the funeral. Sandra thought it was the father of the only wife she knew about, Wife #4-Johnette Hicks, the grandpa of his two teenage children. Instead of coming to my father's funeral, Ed Hicks went away to the Eastern Shore of Virginia with a girlfriend. He was already cheating on his girlfriend, Sandra...and me, his wife! And he used my father's death to do it. Ed Hicks lied to me about how old he was. Ed Hicks lied about going to college. Ed Hicks even had at least one girlfriend while we lived in California. She lived within walking distance of us. One weekend while I was visiting my parents, he invited her over to "our" apartment. He made a point of opening "our" closet and drawers to ease her suspicions about another woman and prove to her that another woman did not live in "our" apartment. Ed Hicks had moved my clothing to another room. I was his wife! Everything was a lie. Ed hicks took away my ability to trust, and he ruined me financially. - Julie Flint-Hicks victim of Ed Hicks,
Being lied to, is a hurtful thing, being conned by someone you love is a devastating thing. You find that the facade of the life that you had lead, was lies on his part, and how empty and meaningless he thought of you. It hits below the belt and it scars you emotionally, financially, and sometimes with your reputation. You become a laughingstock at their expense. They have no conscience, and they believe they are the ones in the right. The sad thing is the law protects them in every way. Like his sister said, "He keeps getting away with it time and time again." Plain and Simple. It shouldn't be the victims that have to fight for their rights, it should be the criminal that fights for the rights. Anyone with his track record of repeatedly conning people over and over again, should not be allowed to plea bargain. It is sad, but our judicial system is really flawed. They say it works but how? I haven't seen it really work yet. The innocent are the guilty ones, irregardless. Some say I am obsessed with this man, but in reality, I am obsessed with getting justice done, there can be no closure on this until that happens, and even then I will never trust anyone whole heartedly with my love, my life or my money again. I didn't have a lot of money to begin with, and all I wanted was to be loved, and he turned that into a crime that suited his needs. God Bless all victims of bigamists, con artists, and liars. May you never be in my shoes. - Donna Layne Roberts victim of William Michael Barber
Send Your Thoughts
If you are a victim of bigamy, feel free to add your thoughts to the Comment section, or email OneOfSeven with your thoughts, your feelings, and some of lies the your bigamist told. Send a photo of you and your bigamist, if you can.