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Websites and Blogs We Support

  • Victims of Law
    Can't afford a lawyer? Check out this site to learn how to represent yourself (Pro Se). Don't get caught up in rebellion against the legal business, follow the court rules & rules of evidence for your jurisdiction. Learn everything you can about court procedure.
  • Feed the Hungry
  • Mary Turner Thompson
    Mary Turner Thompson is a victim of a serial bigamist and sociopath. She is also author of the books “The OTHER Mrs Jordan” and "The Bigamist: The True Story of a Husband's Ultimate Betrayal", which detail a life of six years lived with a sociopath, Mary discovered her ‘husband’ to be a bigamist, con man and pedophile. Rather than be destroyed by the experience, she has let it make her stronger and wiser, with the ability to help others overcome similar emotional and psychological abuse.
  • The Exposer
    We are working to expose cyberpaths & Internet predators who prey on other adults via dating sites, chat rooms, instant messaging for sex, money or just mental & emotional kicks. We want to help make the 'net safer for all!

  • ReportIllegals.com

    Marriages are difficult enough, but when immigration status is an incentive, problems do occur. This site has been shocked to find so many cases of Green Card Heartache which is when a marriage that was for obtaining immigration status ends. Victims of Green Card Heartache suffer severe emotional, financial and legal problems as the result of a spouse marrying for immigration status. About 33% of marriages between illegal aliens and citizens are blatantly sham marriages where money is exchanged, the couple does not even live together and may not have even met each other. Of course the politically correct media would never expose such a problem.

  • Truth About Deception
    Information about Lying, Cheating and Deception between a Husband and Wife, Boyfriend and Girlfriend
  • Parenting the At Risk Child
    Your source of information and resources for parenting a child at risk for ADHD, addiction, and antisocial behavior. Your child may be at risk if someone in your family has any of these disorders. This website authored by a psychiatrist, Liane J. Leedom who in December 2001, after a short courtship, unknowingly married a con artist. Liane realized that her son's father was likely a psychopath. Liane knew from lectures she had attended that this disorder has a strong genetic basis. At this site, you can find some answers for if you are a parent looking to care for at risk children in the best possible way.
  • The World's full of Con Men and Women
    Blog authored by Donna Layne Roberts, victim of the notorious con man bigamist, William Michael Barber.
  • A Perfect Target
    Blog authored by woman who journals the similarities between the behavior and personality traits indicative of a sociopath, in her opinion, and what she experienced with her former spouse.

  • ChatCheaters.com - A site about infidelity
  • Emotional Abuse and Your Faith
    Collection of Articles this blogger has found on Emotional and Verbal Abuse. She searches for ones that are geared towards the faith-based prospective. It is not just towards one but many faiths.
  • Holly's Fight for Justice
    Provides information relating to crime victims, which comes from personal experience with Canada's Justice System, reforms, and includes resources of information for crime victims in Canada, United States also other countries. Holly's story of surviving rape and advocating for crime victims around the globe.
  • You Are A Target; Not A Victim
    We hope the resources and experience of the women and men who contribute to YouAreATarget.com can help break the verbal and emotional abuse cycle in your life. We have a number of helpful sections.

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April 20, 2007

A Few Words on the Virginia Tech Tragedy

Vt_ribbon_gray As a proud Virginia Tech mom and mother-in-law as well as a native southwest Virginian, I wish to express my heartfelt sympathy to the families of the victims, to the injured, the families of the injured, and the entire VT community. VA Tech has held a special place in my heart for over thirty years from the time my parents allowed me to spend the weekend with one of my best friends at Slusher dormitory in 1973, to that sunny May day in 2000 when I watched my son and then soon-to-be daughter-in-law graduate from this fine institution. My love and respect for the Hokie Nation will carry through the remainder of my life.

I realize this post has nothing to do with bigamy, but this senseless tragedy that took the lives of so many has horrified and numbed me. And I do talk a lot about antisocial, sociopathic (psychopathic) behavior on this blog.

As a fellow blogger friend so aptly puts it: "I for one, am getting sick of the 'woulda', 'coulda', 'shoulda' talkers. I do hope this incident shines a light on the need for mental health care in this country to be taken more seriously. For the insurance industry to start paying to treat the brain and its disorders, and for the mental illness to come out of the dark, unspeakable shadow, and the stigma of depression, schizophrenia, and other disorders to be lifted so that suffers wanting help get it".  

I am going to go one step further. It is my sincere hope that some good will come out of this tragedy and legislators will take a more serious look at how we can keep evil monsters like Cho Seung-Hui confined to a mental facility instead of a brief session by a mental health care professional who declared he was neither a threat to himself or to others. Not only did Cho show paranoid schizophrenic signs, but narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies as well.

It is also my hope that legislators in Virginia will take the steps to make gun buying just a bit more difficult in this fine Commonwealth. I believe in the right to bear arms, but Virginia's laws, although not the most lenient in this country, allow one handgun a month to be purchased, with no waiting period or permit, and an assault weapon can be bought as easily as a hunter's shotgun.

If you can find it in your heart, please give to one of the many funds set up in memoriam of this senseless tragedy and sign the condolence page. To do so, please visit the Virginia Tech site.

If you are like me and feel that the Virginia Tech President Charles Steger and Virginia Tech Police Chief William Flinchum did all they could with the information they had at the time, please sign the We Support VT Petition.

If you would like to order a free Hokie ribbon (these alumni  only ask that you send a self-addressed, stamped envelope), visit their site.

As a Virginia Tech alumnus and VT sportswriter so eloquently writes in his "The Final Emotion":

"I am in the business of writing, of articulating my thoughts, of putting into words what others may only sense as a blur of feelings. I have never backed down from the challenge, be it capturing the emotion of a landmark victory, the pain of an agonizing defeat, the triumph and heartbreak that are part and parcel of athletics, even the horror of 9/11 over five years ago. It is my calling, my passion, my God-given talent. But I fear this ... this is too much.

I am not speaking lightly when I say that I cannot comprehend the loss suffered by the families, friends, and loved ones of this tragedy. I have tried to imagine what it must be like to suddenly lose someone close to you in this way. But I can't. I have a wife and three children, and when I try to put myself in that place, that terrible place where so many people have been thrown with no recourse, I can't.

It has only been two days since it happened, but it feels like forever. I am exhausted from being exposed to the brunt of it, from the message boards to the constant news coverage, to the conversations of family and friends, to the scenes on the Virginia Tech campus. Others have said they can't sleep. Not I. When I have fallen into bed past midnight the last two nights, sleep has come easily. It's getting up the next morning that has been difficult.

We never thought this would be us. We have watched these kinds of tragedies from afar, but this one has hit us where we live. The media have descended from around the world, poking, prodding, and worst of all, trying to place blame. An immense amount of pressure has been brought to bear on the Virginia Tech community, first by Cho Seung-Hui himself and then by the crush of international attention. While some of the coverage has been compassionate, much of it has not been, and some of it has bordered on cruel and sensationalistic. None of this surprises me, but being at the center of it still stings, and it changes your perceptions forever.

As I searched for meaning in what happened, I finally found it. I found it in the incredible poise, control, and togetherness shown by the Virginia Tech family. The true character of a person, group, or institution shows itself under pressure, and what the Virginia Tech community has shown us is grace, cohesion, intelligence, and compassion.

I have always thought that there was something different about Hokies, and the last few days have proven it. We always talk about the passion that Hokies have for Virginia Tech, about the special connection they feel to the university, and this tragedy has shown that talk doesn't ring hollow. If it wasn't true, if there wasn't a special bond between members of the Virginia Tech community, then they would have flown apart in the face of this adversity. They did not. They drew together and showed the world a united front.

Those interviewed by the media refused, for the most part, to be drawn into the baiting questions that sought to place blame on university president Charles Steger and the Virginia Tech Police Department. The very students who were in danger Monday let the world know where they stand when they applauded Dr. Steger at Tuesday's convocation service. The vultures were circling, hoping to pick the bones, but the people at Virginia Tech refused. They showed what it means to be Hokies. They drew together.

The students in particular have exceeded my expectations. We tend to think of them just as kids. Loud, shallow, self-centered, focused on the trivial, often spoiled. Adorned with body piercings, tattoos, and too much facial hair.

What we have seen instead, in the countless interviews of students on news channels up and down the dial, are bright, articulate, respectful individuals that any university would be flattered to call its own. Well-groomed, well-spoken, wearing dress clothes, ties, even suits, patiently answering questions, keeping their composure in the face of more than most of us will ever experience. I am on the one part humbled -- they are better people than I was at their age -- and on the other part proud. Well done, students of Virginia Tech. You are representative of the type of people Virginia Tech is admitting and producing -- you, not Cho Seung-Hui -- and I am proud of both you and my university.

From the beautiful and gifted Reema Samaha to the cheerful, intelligent and talented Ryan Clark, Cho's victims were pictures of inspiration. These were not vapid, self-centered individuals. It is sad that their lives were cut short, but perhaps the way they conducted those lives will inspire others. They make me wish I could go through college again, to be more like them.

By the nature of what I do for a living, my window into the Virginia Tech world is athletics. Among the fans, athletics is about passion. It is about pride in victory and anguish in defeat. These emotions are always strong, always out of proportion to the importance of the games themselves, but I have always felt that with Virginia Tech fans, there was something beyond the typical fan relationship with their sports teams. Now that I have seen that passion and togetherness extend beyond the playing fields and the stadiums and coliseums and into the glare of this awful spotlight, I know it to be true.

Being a Hokie is not a mercenary relationship. It is not a business proposition. It is not an exchange of goods and services for money. It is a shared bond, a love that comes from somewhere we don't understand and can't explain to others. We do not take from this university; it gives to us. Perhaps when we first arrive on its campus, we have our own selfish interests in mind, but by the time we leave, we are transformed. We are Hokies.

It is sad and tragic that this happened to us. Because we love this university, we are devastated by what happened here. But if it was necessary for us to suffer in order for others to benefit, it is a burden we will bear, because our motto -- Ut Prosim, That I May Serve -- tells us that's what we must do. If our tragedy brings you together, if our loss makes you safer and makes you value what is important in life, if our suffering is not in vain, then we are prepared to shoulder this load ... so you don't have to. That has always been the mission of this university, and we are honored to carry it out.

Do not let the deaths of these 32 victims be in vain. Look into your hearts and see what it teaches you, and how you may be better because of what we have gone through. And know that when the bodies are in the earth, when the media has left, when others have moved on and life resumes its course, that for us, there is only one emotion left: Love. Love for this university, love for the people who died on April 16th, 2007, and love for those who are left behind.

Remember this, and what happened here will not have been for naught."

William Neal Stewart
Virginia Tech, BSEE 1987

January 22, 2007

Are you a woman who has been in a relationship with a psychopath?

Participate in the survey to help other women avoid psychopaths

Sandra L. Brown, MA, author of How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved and Counseling Victims of Violence and director of Safe Relationships: A Women's Relational Harm Reduction and Public Psychopathy Education Project and Liane Leedom, MD psychiatrist, author of Just Like His Father: A Guide to Overcoming Your Child's Genetic Risk for Antisocial Behavior, Addiction, and ADHD and director of Parenting The At-RIsk Child are collaborating on a new book, Women Who Love Psychopaths.

This is a ground breaking initiative because to date, a whole book or study has never focused exclusively on the women who love or have loved psychopaths. Who is she? What is her background, history, temperament, commonalities with other women who have loved psychopaths? What can we learn by identifying who she is? How will it aid national and international intervention and prevention efforts for women and for psychopathy education?

The answer is: we don't know because no one has done it!

We are seeking women who have been in relationships with DIAGNOSED psychopaths. Those types of diagnoses included:
  • Anti Social Personality Disorder 
  • Sociopath 
  • Psychopath 
  • Psychopathic tendencies

Please note: While Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a type of pathology, we are looking for true psychopaths. HOWEVER, having said that, it is widely believed that many who are diagnosed NPD are really un-diagnosed or under-diagnosed psychopaths. Feel free to contribute your info and we will try to assess it to see if we think he meets the psychopath criteria.

We are asking women who are interested in working on this project to be involved in the following:

  • A detailed survey of YOU and your relationship dynamics. We aren't that concerned about the psychopath--lots has been written about him. We want to know about you and your relationship with him.
  • A clinical assessment that will measure certain traits in your personality so we can see there is a 'profile' of women who end up with psychopaths. To date, this has not been studied.

You must be willing to do BOTH to be considered. If you would like to be considered, please email us:  

  • In the subject line put: Psychopath Survey.
  • In the message area: Put your name (of course it will not be used, this is for our contact info only) and your email address

We are still in the developing stage of the survey, but we have a pre-survey regarding 'emotional coding' that you can take now while we are completing the next phase. Thank you for all you are doing to help other women stay safe from psychopaths.

 
Sandra L. Brown, MA
Psychotherapist & Author