All You Need Is Love...And a Good Detective

"These guys are smooth. They ooze charm. But once you say "I do," watch out. I'm talking about marrying men. Like the one in Friday's paper. Charles Edward Hicks, 62, was in a Chesapeake court Thursday, pleading guilty to one count of bigamy. No one knows for sure how many Mrs. Hickses there have been, but it looks as if he had seven brides. According to prosecutors, two of those marriages - five and six - were simultaneous. Hicks is scheduled for sentencing May 8. The admitted bigamist could go to the pokey for 10 years, says Kerry Doughtery in her article about bigamists and heartache in The Virginian Pilot.

Comments

[Lady Blue]

I was almost a victim of bigamy. After three years in a relationship, on the morning of the wedding the coward called and cancelled without an explanation. His family was left to pick up the pieces of his mess two days after the cancellation of the wedding. The family informed me that he had been married for almost 17 years. My heart goes out to Sandra. Fortunately, I was able to dodge a bullet. I've been in a battle and nobody understands my feelings. A support group to talk to other victims of similar circumstances would be great. My home state is California in the San Francisco Bay Area. If anyone knows of support groups in my area, please respond.

[Rose Marie]

Well, SL Won, I'm not sure what you've won, but it appears to me that you have been had, too. Be kind to yourself when you figure out that you have been slapped with the full impact of having come in contact with an Ed Hicks. To direct energy towards anyone other than Ed Hicks in regards to his dishonesty and total disrespect of others is another clue to how impactful Ed's version of evil has been. You've been had and you don't even know it. And SL Won, you didn't even have to date Ed to be sucked in...his whole world was and is a vortex of parasitic lies. However you choose to deal with the realization that you too are probably missing a pound of flesh from the experience will be appropriate for you...just work with yourself in trying to come to a point of starting to "get over it."

Sandra...you continue to direct the blame to the rightful owner for the havoc intentionally perpetuated on your life and your person. No amount of pointing the finger of blame; blasting Ed Hicks' bigamous-deceitful-greedy name and ways to the world is too much. Had you not committed yourself to "getting over it" by asking questions, probing, understanding what was going on and loudly crying foul...this supposed wife #5 would not have ever known that the MAC truck that bulldozed through mine and my daugthers' lives was a bigamous Ed Hicks whose life goal was to suck me and others of our time, energy, nurturing spirits and financial resources.

[bigamyvictim]

The comment made by SL Won shows the ignorance of the author. As a victim of Ed Hicks and his constant lies and deceipt, I know first hand what a con man Sandra was dealing with. Just because Sandra may have had clues while dating Ed does not mean this con man did not have an answer to any and every question she may have asked him. It also does not excuse his behavior. To state that all the blame was not on Ed because Sandra "dismissed some of the evidence" is a ludicris statement, how can the author possibly think that justifies Ed's lies and deceipt? Ed Hicks has been victimizing people for over 40 years. Sandra was not his first victim and unless Ed is stopped Sandra will not be his last.

Sandra's fight is just not against Ed Hicks, it is against all persons who commit the crime of bigamy. People who have not lived with the devastation this crime brings to their lives have no idea of the hurt, anger and self-doubt the victims of bigamy have to contend with on a daily basis. For example bigamy was described to me by a victim of another bigamist as emotional rape.

To SL Won I would say that since you have not walked in Sandra's shoes, nor do you know the entire extent of the devastation Ed Hicks has perpetrated on those he supposedly loved-you have no room to judge her actions. Sandra has tried to bring the crime of bigamy to the publics attention, she is working to try to change the laws in this country and make filing charges easier for future victims of this crime. Instead of defending the criminal maybe it is time you start giving a pat on the back to this courageous woman who is willing to try to make a difference.

[1of3]

Get over it? What an ignorant comment!

Bigamists are sociopaths. Sociopaths can fool even highly trained psychologists. They are masters of deception and mis-direction.

When you challenge them or question them, they turn the situation around on you. It becomes so painful, that you avoid the challenge.

Sociopaths use everyone around them like tissue. They have no long lasting friendships because they destroy every life that they touch. And I do mean destroy.

Some people can pick up the pieces of their life quickly after this kind of earth shattering betrayal, others take a long time, and still others will never recover from this kind of situation.

DON'T EVER tell an abused person to "get over it". Would you say that ignorant comment to a rape victim? (Hey wifey, I know you were beaten and gang raped last week, but I'm horny, so would you get over it so I can have some?)

Get over it? What an ignorant comment!

[Fighter]

I love how people LOVE to tell VICTIMS to "get over it" if they feel it is taking the victim too long. (1/2 the time, if it was THEIR trauma, they'd be moaning for years and expecting a full-time pity party). Sandra is a courageous woman who took her pain and turned into a movement that HOPEFULLY will start punishing con-men/bigamists like Hicks for the damage and pain they inflict on everyone around them. Hicks is a predator and has been doing this for years. Good for Sandra for being his ACCOUNTABILITY MOMENT.

Sandra's been through a lot because of this man. I, for one, am tired of the blame-the-victim mentality that seems to permeate current culture. Hicks is not insane, he is not rehabilitatable, Hicks a waste of skin & oxygen. Sandra is to be commended for following through on all of this. (even when callous people tell her to "get over it")

[texanrose]

I cannot understand why so many others want to put the blame on the victims. Are we supposed to be so mistrusting of those we give our hearts to, and immediately check them out? Come on, I did and I still got conned. But I only did it because I had had a very bad relationship prior to the con man that conned me. Not everyone has the fore sight to investigate, and it would be a sad world for us if everyone was so distrusting of anyone. Don't go telling another victim that she needs to get over it! You think you know so much more than her, you should be ashamed. You show no compassion to your fellow man. I pity those you have a relationship with. She suffers from post traumatic stress syndrom so leave her alone. She is to be commended for being able to find out the truth before it destroyed her totally. She lost the two people that were dear to her and Mr. Hicks tried to work that to his advantage, he is a predator and predators have no emotions towards anyone but themselves. The person who told Sandra to get over it needs to rethink their priorities.

[Anne Schwartzman]

Get OVER this? SL Won, you are kidding aren't you? The man lied to her, damaged her emotionally, took thousands of dollars from her on the pretense of loving her, used her to babysit his children.

Amazing how employees of MY America can inflict all sorts of damage on people emotionally & financially and then when these people develop post traumatic stress disorder and severe depression - they are told to "get over it."

I hope you don't have a daughter who ever goes through this. If you do, let me know so I can tell HER to get over it, too.

[OneOfSeven]

My priorities, questioning, and what you call dismissing may qualify as giving you the right to place blame on me in your skewed mind, but I will tell you, it was a lot more important to me to care for my dying parents, and trust the word of my so-called husband, rather than to dig into his past at that time. My parents' needs were my priority; a spouse is supposed to trust and believe in their mate.

You loose both your parents within 50 weeks of each other, you diaper your dying parents, you give them morphine so they are not in excruciating pain, you watch them die before your eyes---now, what would you do? Would you care for them, ensure their needs are met, or would concentrate your efforts into delving into your spouses past? Think about it...you seem to know so much.

Don't you have better things to do at work other that abusing Federal Government, Department of Defense tax payer resources! You have NO CLUE AS TO WHAT THIS MAN HAS DONE NOT ONLY TO ME BUT ALSO TO OTHERS. CRYING---I AM SITTING HERE LAUGHING AT THIS POST FROM A DIDACTIC "KNOW IT ALL" WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS NOTHING AND WHOSE TIME WOULD BE BETTER SERVED PERFORMING THE TASKS FOR WHICH HE OR SHE IS BEING PAID BY THE HARD WORKING CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY, RATHER THAN MAKING SNIDE POSTS.

Now, I think the Army Publishing Directorate will be really interested in your post, that comes from their IP address.
IP Address: 141.116.142.28: Army Information Systems Command, The Pentagon

[SL Won]

Ya know Sandra, you really need to get over this. The entire time you dated Ed the information you needed to question Ed's loyalty was right in front of your face, but you chose to ignore it. Not all the blames on him, you too are at fault because you choose to dismiss all the evidence that told you up front he was not an honest man. Grow up, get over it and quit crying about it.